Tappity tap-tap...

The lad in my womb likes to tap dance in the wee hours. He really gets dancing during the midnight to two a.m. time frame. Alas, this means I have not been getting a good night's sleep - having bronchitis and coughing so much would be complication enough.

Three was very active like this during my last pregnancy. I'm guessing this guy will kick off his blankets and socks when he gets out, too.

Ummm, yeah. I'm still around.

As usual at this time of year, my life has devolved into an exhausting series of chaotic activities. I finished with grading finals and papers, turned in my final grades, and all of that jazz earlier this week. I even had to turn in my office and building keys - as happened last spring, I don't have a teaching assignment lined up for next term, and while I may be called in at the last moment, there's no guarantee. So they'll take up my key and send it back to wherever keys go for the next three or four weeks, so that, if they decide to call me back to teach next term, I will then have to wait at least a month to get keys again. It would seem sensible to have me keep the keys until classes start again in January, and then return them if I won't need them, but no. I jump through the hoops of higher ed bureaucracy like a good trained pup.

The kids are abuzz with various holiday parties and activities. Big Girl danced beautifully last weekend in The Nutcracker - her first performance in it. I was rather surprised by how nostalgic and sentimental I felt seeing my girl dance in the same ballet that I once performed. And yes, most of the choreography is virtually unchanged from the steps set on me and my peers so many years ago in the first local performance. When I heard the music for the roles I danced then, I felt my feet and arms respond instinctively with the appropriate gestures and movements. It's been sixteen years, but I still remember (although I know my pregnant, out of shape body would look ridiculous if I actually attempted to do the steps, and I don't even want to think about how impossible it would be to dance on pointe now).

Big Girl and I also got to ride in the local Christmas parade, on a float with her scout troup, earlier this month. It was extremely cold but fun. As the sole pregnant parent among the adults there to supervise and accompany the kids, I got to ride on the float while the other parents walked along beside it and tossed candy to the kids watching the parade. Three and his granddaddy watched the parade, and both Three and his sister were THRILLED to see Santa riding on a fire truck at the end of the parade. Well, almost the end. The horses came last, because, well, who really wants to walk or drive behind them? Aside from a cleaning crew, perhaps. I couldn't believe how excited the kids got about Santa. My boy is still talking about Santa on the fire truck, and I expect that he will question the jolly guy about it if we go to see Santa at the mall.

Commercialism has reached Big Girl. Sigh. She's always wanted great toys - fun kid stuff, that requires imagination or active play - but thanks to the influence of her school peers, she's asking for a DS and a remote control car for Christmas. Both things are completely out of character - I know it's just a matter of hearing the kids at school discuss such things. Unfortunately Santa plans to give her things she will actually enjoy, as opposed to those other beyond-his-budget-and-likely-less-fun-for-her-anyway items.

My boy, fortunately, remains blissfully unaware, and his wish list this year is the same as last: tractors. Since he already owns almost every John Deere toy tractor that I can find in this town, I've had to get a bit creative with him, but hopefully he will still be pleased.

And the bebe? The one moving around in the womb while I type? I should find out whether said baby is a he or a she next month. I am so excited to find out! And then, of course, I'll be able to obsess about baby clothes and accessories and gear - but I'm trying to wait until after Christmas.

Mmmm, cranberry sauce!

Cranberry sauce is really one of my favorite things about Turkey Day. The jellied straight-from-a-can kind, although I will eat other kids too. But I'm perfectly happy with the canned stuff - even better if you manage to remove it from the can and maintain the can shape, complete with ridges around the circumference that show the actual shape of the can.

I, um, don't really like turkey. Yeah, I'll eat it, particularly if you add some stuffing and gravy (the good kind, not watery crap). But I prefer ham. Honey glazed, spiral cut, please. Mmmm, ham. So many more leftover possibilities with ham, too. So this year my aunt is procuring the meats for the festivities, but maybe I'll manage to sneak away with a hunk o' leftover ham at the end.

Strange how I can be so captivated and enthralled by food while simultaneously feeling terrible morning sickness, all day long. But really - I haven't lost the desire to eat, or the appreciation of tasty foods. I just can't keep stuff down without lots of meds and a helluva lot of willpower. I'm incredibly dangerous at the grocery store, even as I keep careful track of the locations of bathrooms, just in case I am overcome with nausea. I've made two hungry-and-lacking-willpower grocery runs lately, so I'm well stocked with ice cream sandwiches, frozen Italian ices, cocoa, and enough ingredients to make a batch of cookies every day from now until New Year's.

I got these wonderful Heath toffee chocolate baking bits and can't wait to make cookies with them. I actually bought a bag of these last month, too, but Hubs found them and surreptitiously pilfered and snacked until they were gone. I have to watch him. He does this with chocolate chips and butterscotch chips too - and then I get ready to make scotchies (the oatmeal butterscotch cookie recipe on the bag o' butterscotch chips) and find I have no chips.

Did I mention how delicious butterscotch chips are when added to pancakes? I think I like them even better than chocolate chip pancakes.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz.....

I snore when I'm pregnant. I know this from previous pregnancies - the combination of a little stuffiness (which seems to last throughout pregnancy for me) and extra weight cause it. So I know I do it - I'm not in denial like SOME PEOPLE who live in this house and share the bed with me...

I've learned, after nine years of marriage, to tune out his snoring and sleep through it. But last night he woke me up repeatedly to tell me to stop snoring! Dude - I can't help it! I'm laying on my side, so it's not as if changing positions will stop it! Grrr. I'm just a little frustrated with his hypocrisy. He denies snoring. I've threatened to record him to prove my point, but he'd probably deny even in the face of that evidence.

He actually asked me to wait an hour after he goes to bed, so he can be sound asleep by the time I get there - so he doesn't have to listen to me! The nerve of that man....

{end vent}

I am highly productive and organized!

In my mind, that is. In reality, it's a far different story. I can sit around thinking of things I could do, but at present I lack all energy. I have no mental push, no impetus to remove myself from this recliner and get things done. And there is so very much to be done.

Sigh.

Hyperemesis.

I haz it. :(

This explains why my kids are geniuses... ;)

Morning Sickness Tied to Higher Child IQ

Oh, am I sick. I'd say "sick as a dog," only I think my dogs are feeling much better than I am right now. I'm on meds to help with the nausea, fortunately. And that memory of how sick and miserable I felt during the first trimesters of my previous pregnancies, the memory that faded in the delight of cute little babies that followed? Oh, yes. I remember it well.

By now many of the adults in my life know. Still haven't told the kids. Hubs and I think we'll tell them after the ultrasound early next week. They're both notoriously impatient (wonder where they get that?!), so I know the "when will you have the baby" questions will start in short order. That's okay. My girl will also probably think that her Christmas wish for the last 2-3 years is finally coming true. She's been asking for a baby sister (I think she'd be happy with a baby brother too - she's baby-crazy). And Three? I see a wee bit o' jealousy in his future, because he still likes to crawl in my lap and be my baby sometimes. He won't like it when the occupant starts expanding the womb into his lap territory. He's a sweet boy, though, so I don't have any long term worries.

I think I'll go eat something cheesy. Sounds good about now.

Breaking News!

I haven't shared this news with many people who see me, in person, on a regular basis. And I'm notoriously weak when it comes to keeping exciting news to myself, so I decided to share the news here so I have somewhere to discuss it.

I am pregnant. Thought I might be coming down with swine flu, but no. It's morning sickness.

This was a bit of a surprise, albeit a wonderful one. Less than a month ago, I was talking with my doctor about the slim chance that I would conceive without some sort of intervention - fertility meds, etc.

I am thrilled about the prospect of becoming a mother for the third time. I am also terrified. Terrified that I might miscarry (I hesitate to type the word, even). Terrified that the baby will have health problems. Terrified that I will be sick as a dog for the whole pregnancy and thus unable to give my kiddos the time and attention they deserve.

This complicates life in a lot of ways. I haven't said anything at work yet, because I know that it's going to be... weird. If my guesstimate of the due date is correct, the baby will arrive right around the time I should be running the show for VBS. Ironically my efforts to do that last summer were thwarted by the first of my lithotripsies. Plus I don't exactly get time off or benefits or anything at this job. It's part time, salaried but with some very specific requirements. Certainly having a baby at the end of the school year or early in summer is a better time in other respects, but it will make things tricky at work.

Plus, well, we're already busting at the seams in this house. We have too much stuff, and I've been working on paring down our possessions, but we still only have three bedrooms. The baby can stay in our bedroom at first, but eventually? Not sure that we'll be able to fit in this house. And that means the possibility of moving. Ugh.

I am so excited to be pregnant. If I stop and think about it for a minute, I get a goofy grin on my face - my inability to keep this expression hidden led to me to tell my parents the news within a couple of days, because they would know I was (poorly attempting to) hiding something.

On a related note, if you're reading this and you see me in person on a semi-regular basis - mum's the word! Say nothing! I need to figure out what all of this will mean, plus when the baby is actually due (due date's a bit uncertain at this point, without an ultrasound to date), and I want to wait until I feel a bit more secure about the pregnancy too before I share the news broadly.

In closing, two succinct sentiments: Barf! and Yay!