Bullying

Four year old girls are bullies. And victims of bullies. And it's not just "the way girls act" and the girls who are threatened emotionally and/or psychologically - which is the preferred methodology among girls, as opposed to threats of physical violence - are not to blame. Teachers who ignore this problem or deny that it is a problem need to change their ways of thinking and acting.

I'm doing a good bit of reading up on the topic, and recognizing and identifying some baggage from my past in the process. I'll try to report more once I finish reading Odd Girl Out, which, by the way, is quite a fascinating book.

Girls really are mean.

I've been struggling lately with how best to help my daughter. Big Girl is in pre-K this year, and she's encountered her first bullies. Two girls in particular seem to cause her trouble, telling her she can't play with them, bossing her around, telling her she smells bad, that sort of thing. I've discussed the issue with her teacher, who was already aware of the problem and is doing what she can to alleviate it. For my part, I've been talking about it with Big Girl and trying to offer suggestions, such as playing with other kids, telling the bullies to stop, and ignoring their remarks. I take some comfort in knowing that neither girl is likely to attend her elementary school, and yet there may be others there who don't treat my sweet girl with acceptance and kindness.

I've never been socially adept. That seems to complicate everything for me - I really don't know how to tell her to respond. She's lovely, intelligent, fun-loving, and kind, and it's hard for me to understand why anyone, even a little bratty girl, would say or do anything to hurt her. My lack of understanding does little to address the problem, however. How can I equip my beautiful girl for a world that's proving irrationally unkind to her at this tender age? She loves school - loves the learning, the art, the teachers, and her friends - and I want to make sure her love for learning and experiencing new things remains intact. So in my usual nerdy way, I'm reading some books in search of guidance. Any other ideas?