What a difference

At this point it's largely psychological, but I already feel much better following yesterday's lithotripsy. Just knowing that the most painful stone has finally been targeted helps my mood tremendously. I'm in a lot of discomfort, both from yesterday's procedure and the surgery last Friday, but emotionally I just feel... eased. I've been dealing with pain on an almost daily basis since late February, and for a long time I felt so frustrated, waiting and waiting for a doctor to take action instead of hypothesizing, waiting for the day of an appointment or test to arrive. I'm not ready to sing on rooftops by any means, but I'm so desperate to feel normal again, and I hope - fingers crossed - that soon I will again.

Hubs is a good guy

Hubs told me last night that he would be taking off time from work to take care of me. Three days - I'm blown away by his thoughtfulness and generosity. Seriously. This is - dare I say it - a bit out of character for him. I don't think he took off this much time after the birth of our first child (but then he was paid hourly, not salaried, so that kind of explains it).

The kids are staying with my parents tonight, and we dropped them off early this morning so my parents could take them to school and we could head over to the office for my surgery. The surgery went pretty well. I can't say that I feel good now, but I am focused on feeling better eventually. The medication is keeping me fairly comfortable so far.

Hubs has been incredibly sweet and thoughtful. He got me a yummy Starbucks concoction after we left the doctor's office (they have an ambulatory surgical center at the office) and picked up tasty foods at the grocery store while the pharmacist filled my prescription. I just wolfed down a chicken pot pie - I couldn't eat after 10 last night, and I was really hungry.

I don't want to make him sound like a bum, but I really can't remember the last time he took care of me like this. It's wonderful. He's a thoughtful guy most of the time, but he's being particularly good today. When I'm back on my feet, I'll have to do something nice to reinforce this kind of behavior. ;)

Seriously, for a minute -

I'm scheduled to have surgery for my sinus woes on Friday, and the date of doom is rapidly approaching. I've tried not to think about it too much, because I'm kind of a wimp. And when I don't feel good, I'm rather worthless and whiny. I know that this surgery and the subsequent recovery will bring with it a good bit of the worthless whining wimpitude. Wimpiness isn't attractive on most people, including me.

Fortunately Hubs helps to distract me by talking about how much housework I could do "ahead of time" - because that's a direct relationship, isn't it? Can't have surgery with a dirty house, now, can I? He also reminds me regularly that he won't be around to help me at certain times, so I'll need to figure out workarounds for changing diapers and other tasks which would ordinarily require a bit of lifting. No lifting more than 15 pounds during my recovery - so Two will have to bring his little step stool around the house and get himself to any heights. I have a vague sense that I may regret encouraging a do-it-yourself climbing practice later on.

The main idea that keeps sticking in my brain, when I move past the hesitancy, is how fortunate I am, to have health insurance to reduce the cost of my surgery, to have access to a friendly doctor who will perform the procedure, to have parents to care for me and my children later in the day. The kids will even have a sleepover at their grandparents' house the first night post-op, so I can rest and recover in a quieter environment at home. I keep coming back to the unbelievable expense involved in this surgery. I would never have it if I didn't have insurance. I feel guilty knowing that we'll be paying for this procedure in monthly installments for some time to come. And yet I dream of feeling much better than I have in months, of relief from sinus pressure and misery, of freedom from knowing every cold will become an infection. This isn't a major life-or-death procedure. It's largely a quality of life concern, and one that many people likely cannot consider due to problems with cost and access.

My qualms about the current status of our medical system are considerable. I am a former child of privilege, now a woman of privilege, in comparison to so many. If I get sick, I go to the doctor, and I'm outraged to think that some people have to decide between medical care and food, or medicine and basic living expenses. I know this is often a problem for elderly individuals on fixed incomes, and yet the problem is so much more widespread. I catch glimpses of it from women who write on parenting boards and blogs I follow. I don't know what to do about the unbelievable impediments to proper medical care faced by so many people in this supposedly-privileged country. I'm not an expert. But my worries about being a whiner and dealing with housework before surgery pale in comparison. I hope whoever we elect tomorrow (you know my choice) comes up with some viable solutions and implements them, asap.

Sinus pain:

I haz it. I think I'll have to break down and get sinus surgery sometime soon. Might as well do it now, since I've already met my insurance deductible for the year with the carpal tunnel surgery. I've got a new sinus infection, less than a week since finishing antibiotics for the last one. Thanks to an excellent genetic inheritance from my father, I have back-to-back sinus infections every spring and fall, and sometimes in winter too. And this will keep going until spring, unless I take drastic action. I suppose I'll call the doc in the morning and set up the surgery...

My wound looks freaky.

I took the big bandage wrap thingy off this morning, and now I only have to wear a small bandage over the actual wound. I don't have to wear the sling anymore, either. Very nice. Still hurts, and it looks very weird. My hand still has a greenish-blue cast from the cleanser used on it before the surgery, too. I managed to function passably for church this morning, despite being unable to lift anything. So slowly, but surely, I am recovering...

I'm baaaaaaaack!

Typing with left hand only is slow and annoying. Surgery went well. Recovering. Some pain, but mostly just annoyed b/c rt hand in sling. All 4 now. Bye!

He's Dead, Jim!

Big Girl, Two, and I raced out the door this morning, running late for Big Girl's dance class, and the battery on my van? Dead. Totally, completely dead. I think we must have failed to close a door tightly last night, so the interior lights ran down the battery. So Big Girl missed the first half of class, and there were considerable tears, but my mom came over and drove her to the second half. Big relief! Meanwhile, my dad drove over separately and charged the battery for me, and then drove to an auto parts store to have the battery tested. It seems to be in good shape now. At least this happened today, and not tomorrow when I have to report for surgery quite early.

Tomorrow's the big carpal tunnel surgery day. I don't know how easy it will be to type, or how long it'll take to heal, so I may not update here for a while. Wish me luck!